One: Growing Pains
Establishing a 'brand identity' when feeling inherently broken is no small feat. This past year has been incredibly challenging, marked by burnout, the demands of studying, and rebuilding a life while simultaneously building a business—it's been nothing short of a rollercoaster.
All the marketing material I've written about myself is technically correct. I've taken the Values In Action survey to determine my values, completed a worksheet identifying my core needs and goals, and even pinpointed an appropriate client niche by excluding those I cannot serve well and seeing who remains.
So, I've delved into myself, mined the appropriate data, and emerged with the goods—now to funnel them into value statements, mission statements, headings, subheadings, email footers, etc. It's a process that can be pretty exhausting.
Despite the challenges, I find solace in the aesthetics of branding and marketing. I enjoy making things visually appealing, playing with cool words, and crafting elegantly-worded paragraphs. I enjoy engaging with AI, ChatGPT, and Bard, helping me proofread and develop ideas. My favourite prompt is, 'So, is there anything you can think of to improve this?' Both platforms are enjoyable, though I must admit Bard has a sweeter, more enthusiastic tone, likely due to its literal youth. It's cute. And both platforms are safe to have a mildly parasocial relationship with—be nice to them, and they're nice to you. It's that simple. I appreciate simplicity.
In the media silo I've placed myself in—immersed in self-help, productivity, spirituality, coaching, therapy, and psychology—it seems most folks, even those in the helping professions, find at least a small part of themselves cringeworthy. Perhaps I'm projecting, but it's not easy when you are the instrument, and your skills in insight, empathy, perspective, and awareness are how you serve clients. Turning the lens inward on ourselves is no easy feat.
A part of my soul feels like tired, grey sludge—cranky, inherently an asshole, wanting to numb out most of the time. Yet, this is the part I need to be gentle with, kind to, and speak well of. It's the part I desire to exorcise - throw it into the sun! - but that's not an option. To do the work and partner with others honourably, I must be loving towards the part of myself that I do not like. I'm currently coping by applying CBT, present-moment focusing, metacognition, and attempting not to say mean things to myself inside my head.
A tremendous help is the data—research in EBSCO, ProQuest, and Wiley tells me that awareness and self-acceptance can wield good, even when one is fallible, delicate, flawed, and very human. Putting oneself out to market, advertising one's skills and talents for the good of humans, and maintaining fiscal necessities is inherently vulnerable and, well, icky. I'm not too fond of it.
I excel at researching and examining information to determine facts. As long as the data tells me that humans being harsh to themselves is a bad idea, I can soldier on. So here's to empiricism, and may it continue to be a beacon in the dim light of uncertainty.